Kingdom Hearts: Red Version
by DagaYemar
Summary: It's Kingdom Hearts, but everyone's a pokemon! Heavily inspired by that-one-little-guy's story "The Legend of Eevee: the Pokeflute of Time", can a very unmotivated Eevee save the multiverse from the dark-types? He doesn't think so...
1. A dream within a dream

AN - Now that that-one-little-guy is done with his story "The Legend of Eevee - The Pokeflute of Time", I was inspired to start this story of my own. Haven't read the Legend of Eevee? Go do it! It's by far one of the best stories I've ever found. Also, if that-one-little-guy is reading this, I'm sorry for cribbing your style! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery... right? Right?

* * *

><p>In the beginning, there was nothing. Well ok, there was a sweet intro with waves and people falling out of the sky and a beach and a catchy j-pop song, but that was probably a dream so you don't get to see any. Suddenly the darkness exploded outward in an expending circle of green light. Starley's flapped out from trap doors all about the floor and flew in a disorderly crowd around the circle. After several near fatal collisions one piped up that he knew where a bar was and the whole flock surged off into the distance. It was a dazzling performance nonetheless, if you overlooked that its sole audience was still fast asleep.<p>

"EEVEE, AWAKEN!"

No answer.

"UMM… IS THIS THING ON? I SAID EEVEE, AWAKEN!"

No answer.

"DAMN IT! ARE WE ALREADY REDUCED TO COPYING THAT-ONE-LITTLE-GUY'S MATERIAL? WHY DON'T YOU TRY SOMETHING ORIGINAL?"

No answer.

"OH FOR THE- WAKE UP, YOU CATONIC JACKASS!"

"Wha… what time is it? My neck feels like I've been sleeping on a hardwood floor…" Eevee peered gloomily around. He was lying on a large stain-glass window of a Froslass surrounded by the leering, disembodied heads of seven Sandshrew. The affect was a lot more creepy that the artist probably intended. And of course there was a knot of raised ridges right where Eevee had been sleeping.

"GOOD, YOU'RE UP. NOW WHERE WAS I… SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME…"

"Geez, I just woke up." Eevee whined, massaging his back to get the kinks out of it. "Can't I get some breakfast or something first…"

"… TAKE YOU'RE TIME, DON'T BE AFRAID-"

"I think I will." Eevee said, flopping back onto the glass. "Wake me in… another five minutes…"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! I… URG, DEEP BREATHS, DEEP BREATHS... AHEM, THE DOOR STILL HASN'T OPENED."

"What door?" Eevee asked, cracking open an eye. "And where are you? There's nothing here but me and this very uncomfortable bed."

"I'M AN OMINOUS, DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT KNOWS THINGS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FUTURE AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY BE LISTENING TO ME MORE."

"You're the author?"

"WILL YOU JUST GET UP AND LET ME FINISH! AND NOW I'VE LOST MY PLACE IN THE SCRIPT… UM, STEP FORWARD! YOU CAN WALK, CAN'T YOU?"

"Of course! What kind of stupid question is that?" Eevee said, standing and promptly losing his footing on the slick glass. He skidded on his face into the center of the circle.

"OH YEAH, THIS IS PROMISING. I'M SOOO GLAD I BET ON THIS TEAM…"

"I think I have splinters in my face." Eevee murmured into the glass.

A trio of pedestals rose out from the ground around the prone pokemon. "EVEN THOUGHT YOU HAVE CLEARLY SHOWN THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO WALK, THE PLOT SAYS I HAVE TO GIVE YOU A WEAPON NOW. YOU MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN THE SWORD, THE SHIELD, OR THE MAGIC-"

"I get a SWORD?" Eevee shouted, springing to his feet and racing over to the pedestal. A bright, shiny blade was defying the laws of gravity above it. With a single bound, Eevee had it in his teeth and was swinging it around like a wannabe jedi in a scifi convention.

"THIS CAN'T END WELL…"

"What won't?" Eevee asked, forgetting he was holding it in his mouth. The sword flew into the glass pane and shattered it into pieces. Eevee found himself falling amid a giant shower of glass shards towards another shining platform with a picture of a Bellossom on it. The pane amazingly remained intact after the whole mess came crashing down on top of it, although cracks branched all over its surface.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY WINDOWS! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THOSE!"

"Bleeding… very badly…" Eevee wheezed from beneath a pile of glass.

"WELL TOUGH IT OUT BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE SOME ENEMIES HAVE FOUND YOU. BETTER FIGHT THEM OFF QUICK."

"What?" Eevee asked as a couple of Poochyena appeared from nowhere and pounced on him. Fortunately, they cut themselves badly on all the glass shards and immediately disappeared.

"HMM… NOT BAD AT ALL. MAYBE YOU'RE NOT THE PATHETIC LOSER I FIRST THOUGHT YOU WERE."

"Please… call an ambulance…"

"NO TIME. ON TO THE NEXT ONE!"

The floor beneath Eevee winked out into nothing, plunging him screaming into the void once again. When he came to, he was on another glass pane and trashing around like a baby.

"You did that on purpose!" Eevee accused.

"HEY, I COULD HAVE LET THE SHARDS FALL WITH YOU AGAIN… ANYWAY, LOOK! IT'S THAT DOOR I ALLUDED TO A WHILE BACK! DON"T YOU WANT TO CHECK IT OUT?"

"If it will make this go any faster…" Eevee growled, walking over and reaching for the handle. His hand went right through it. "Hey, what gives?"

"HAHA, GOT YOU! YOU CAN'T OPEN THE DOOR UNTIL YOU OPEN THIS CHEST, PUSH THAT CRATE, SMASH THIS BARREL, HELP ME MOVE MY FURNATURE, MAKE ME A SANDWICH…"

Eevee hefted his sword threateningly over the stained glass.

"ER… ALRIGHT FINE" The door glowed and solidified. "BUT KNOW THAT ONCE THE DOOR IS OPEN, I CAN NO LONGER FOLLOW YOU AND HELP-"

"Sold!" Eevee shouted, wrenching the door open. Blinding light spilled forth.

"WAIT! BEFORE YOU GO, WHY DON"T YOU TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF?"

Eevee paused and looked back over his shoulder. "…what? Are you coming on to me or something?"

"WELL, IT DOES GET LONELY HERE. THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO…"

"I don't think so."

"WAIT! HOW ABOUT IF I CREATE A HALLUCINATION OF YOUR CHILDHOOD HANGOUT AND DISGUISE MYSELF AS YOUR FRIENDS WHILE ASKING YOU POINTED QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL BELIEFS?"

The door slammed shut so hard it rattled in its frame and fell over.

...

"Now that I'm away from that pedophilic narrator, maybe I can finally get some rest." Eevee looked around the new glass pane for a suitably clear spot to lie down on. This one was on the top of a giant pillar and featured a Dewgong getting as much sleep as Eevee wished he was having. A particularly smooth section by its tail caught his eye, but just as he reached it a half dozen Poochyena grew out of the shadows around him.

"Oh come on! I just *sort of* fought off you guys!" Eevee shouted.

"Too bad." One of the Poochyena laughed at him. "We get paid by the appearance. You're going to see a lot of us before the end!"

"Well, this time I'll show you how I really fight!" Eevee shouted, clamping his teeth on the sword's hilt and spinning around like a top.

"Ha! You call that fighting? You aren't even looking at what you're doing!" The lead Poochyena taunted.

"But Boss, he's spinning too fast. We can't even get close."

The leader paused and thought about this. "Well, he has to tire eventually. I say we just keep moving back until… uh, why are there no guard rails? St-stop pushing! AAAAAAaaaaaa…."

Five minutes later Eevee collapsed into a tired heap and looked blearily around the empty circle. "Ha, showed them what I was made of. Time to take a break…" A shining staircase glowed into view just off the edge of the platform. "What? No! Enough with this hero stuff, I'm tired and going to take a break."

The staircase winked out at the same time as the whole pillar shook violently. "WELL, IF THAT'S HOW YOU WANT TO DO THIS!"

"You again!" Eevee cried. "You said you weren't going to follow me!"

"I LIED."

"Do I have to file a restraining order on you?"

"BUT MY POOR EEVEE, YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM YOUR OWN SHADOW!" The pillar trembled again as an enormous Mightyena pulled itself onto the top and glared down at him.

"Um…" Eevee stuttered, backing away to the far edge. "I think I'll run along those plot stairs now."

"TOO LATE. BUT DON'T BE AFRAID… NO, WAIT. DO BE AFRAID!" Mightyena used roar! Eevee runs around screaming like a little girl! The Mightyena swiped a paw around the length of the circle and scooped him up into a crushing grip.

"NOW YOU HAVE NOWHERE TO GO! SO… WHAT DO YOU THINK IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?"

"I'm not telling you anything!" Eevee shouted, gnawing on the giant's wrist. For some reason this worked and the Mightyena released him with a growl of pain.

"HA, YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME HERE? I AM THE DARK SHADOWS THAT LIVE IN YOU'RE MIND!"

"I have a desperately lonely, thirty foot tall dog in my subconscious? I didn't know that about myself."

"STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!" The Mightyena leapt forward and landed right on Eevee's stomach. Eevee started making choking sounds, but a determined shove downwards put a stop to that.

"LISTEN CLOSE, AS I'M ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE." The Mightyena bent its head down until it was right above Eevee's. "THERE'S SOMETHING BIG HAPPENING IN THE UNIVERSE RIGHT NOW AND, LEGENDARY'S HELP ME, YOU ARE OUR BEST HOPE OF SAVING EVERYTHING. SOON AFTER YOU WAKE UP YOU WILL HAVE TO OPEN THE DOOR AND FIND THE SKILLS NEEDED TO BECOME THE HERO OTHERS WILL HAVE TO CONVINCE ME YOU ARE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TELLING YOU?"

Eevee had a stunned expression on his face, so the Mightyena chuckled and released him from his grip. "I SEE THE SERIOUSNESS HAS FINALLY OCCURRED TO YOU."

"You mean…" Eevee said with growing horror. "I'm asleep right now… AND I'M NOT GETTING TO RELAX!"

* * *

><p>AN - Sorry about the first one being so short, but there's not much that happens during the dream sequence. I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can.<p> 


	2. Are Beginnings Always this Painful?

"Hey Eevee, what's a seven letter word for… are you asleep again? LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU!"

A sharp smack across his face sent Eevee tumbling into the water. After floundering about for several minutes, he managed to drag himself back onto the beach. "Give me a break, Vulpix." he sputtered, coughing up water.

"Whatever, you lazy bum." Vulpix muttered, chewing on the end of a pencil. "I _asked_, what's a seven letter-"

"What a strange dream." Eevee muttered, his eyes glazing. "I wonder if I can get back into it… I bet I can show that dark-jerk a… yawn… thing or two…"

"STOP FALLING ASLEEP!" Vulpix yelled, snatching up a piece of driftwood and smashing him over and over. Eventually she got tired of hitting him and collapsed onto the sands, staring up into the clouds with a troubled expression on her face.

Wiping the blood from his eyes, Eevee did a quick calculation as to whether he could make it to the cover of the trees before she caught up to him. Sighing, he sat down next to her and put on his best listening expression. "So… thinking about your home town?"

Vulpix frowned. "What? Of course not. Why would you even ask that out of nowhere?"

"Oh, you know…" Eevee said, waving his paw vaguely. "Gotta get all the exposition out of the way early, or something."

"Why do I even bother talking to you?" Vulpix petulantly used Sand Attack! Eevee fell down again, clutching his poor eyes! "It's not like I don't have better things to do today."

"Like what?" Eevee asked before he could think better of it.

"Lot's of stuff…" Vulpix said vaguely, idly pulling her crossword book back onto her lap. "Gotta build more bridges, construct a fleet, make an elevator, finish working on that coconut powered death laser…"

"What was that last one?"

"Build an elevator?" Vulpix said quickly. "We have too many ladders around the place. Can't keep living in the past… you could start finding more wood for it."

"I think we've already logged this whole island…" Eevee muttered, lying his head on his arms and attempting to fall back asleep.

Vulpix stuck her tongue out at him. "Why do I even bother asking you anything? I doubt you'd even know a seven letter word for 'a skilled worker'."

"Artisan." A smooth voice said right behind them. Zorua walked onto the beach, carrying a length of wood nonchalantly over his shoulder. He dropped the plank directly on top of Eevee and leaned on it casually, wiping his forehead slowly with the back of his hand and causing his soft mane to toss gently in the breeze. Somewhere, a herd of Miltank squeed.

Vulpix giggled and hopped to her feet. "All ready to get started?"

"As soon as you pick something to do." Zorua returned. "You know, you can be almost as lazy as he is."

"I don't think that's physically possible." Vulpix deadpanned.

"Mrrph!" Eevee grunted, trying to worm out from under the wood.

"Hmm…" Zorua thought aloud. "It's a beautiful day out, and that pier we build last week will just go to waste. How about we build that ship and go sailing!"

"Pthaa!" Eevee spat, having dug his way to freedom through the sand. "Ugh, it's in my mouth… I already told you. There's almost no trees left on the island! Where are we going to get the wood for even one boat?"

The three of them turned and regarded the island. Boards and planks coated every surface of rock they could see…

...

Up on the wooden deck that had once been 'Vulpix's Island Resort Outdoor Café' before zoning laws and a general lack of customers had caused her to finally admit that it wasn't working out, Venonat stopped bouncing his ball on his knees and tilted his head towards the beach. "Sounds like they're really going at it today, eh?"

Burmy sighed. "Whatever. They can do whatever they want, so long as they do it somewhere else. Say, where's Silcoon? She usually hangs with us?"

"Looks like she's hiding in the bushes by the waterfall, watching Zoroa work." Venonat reported, squinting down over the railing. "I think she's taking pictures…"

"Typical…" Burmy spat spitefully, slouching further down against the wall. "I could have been a main character, you know. Just because I'm not a fox pokemon, I can't have more than one appearance? I've had a ton of offers, you know."

"Yeah, yeah…"

"And it's not just that they get all the girls," Burmy continued, "all of, what, _two_ on this whole chain of islands? What's up with that? And of course one of them has to be a crazy, demanding, psychotic-" The sound of rapidly approaching feet broke through his tirade.

"-_nicest, hard-working Vulpix I've ever seen and I would love to help in any way I can!"_ Burmy squeaked in a valiant attempt at back-peddling. Venonat made a rather successful attempt at hiding behind his ball. So it was a little disappointing to all involved when only Eevee appeared around the bend and hunkered down next to them.

"Hey guys, do you think I can hide out with you here? She's on a warpath today." Eevee pleaded, trying to squeeze in behind Venonat.

"Oh _suuure._" Burmy said, smiling evilly and picking up a long stick. "I was just saying how bored I was. Feel like a little… competition?"

"How are you even holding that?" Eevee asked before taking the stick directly across the face. He ran in circles around the little deck, howling as the bug pokemon hopped gamely after him and bashed him over and over again.

"You get all the attention! You get all the fans! And what about me? Tenth, _tenth_, in line! Do you know who much pressure I have? Do you know what I have to live up to? But here you are, lazing on a beach in your non-destroyed, unapocolyptic island paradise and collecting money out the ass! Where's my piece of the popularity pie?"

"_Found you!_" Vulpix roared, leaping onto the deck and drop-kicking both of them in the head. "Who said you could take a break? We still need twenty more logs, ten feet of rope, and as many yards of cloth you can find! Get moving, we don't have all day."

"Um… we'll just get out of your way…" Venonat started, dragging Burmy towards the walkway and freedom.

Vulpix spun around and pinned them with the mad gleam in her eyes. "Aha, more free labor! Don't just stand there, start tearing all these planks out and pile them down on the beach! Chop chop!" She picked up Burmy's stick and wailed on the two of them until they started pulling the deck apart.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Eevee crawled slowly past the construction work and took off along the walkway. He immediately fell though a section that Vulpix had already removed and plummeted to the ground below. Muttering to himself, he slowly climbed unsteadily to his feet just in time to take a coconut to the back of his skull.

"Get down!" Silcoon hissed from beneath a fern. "You're blocking my shot of the hunk!"

"…wasfargle…" Eevee spat into the sand.

"You look like you could use a hand." Zorua said, helping Eevee up and brushing him off carefully. Zorua had taken off his shirt at some point, and his chest glistened in the light. Silcoon sped out from the tree line and leaned onto him, shoving Eevee aside like a wet paper bag.

"Why do you spend so much time with him?" She asked coyly, making her perfectly symmetrical body work for all it was worth. "Wouldn't you rather go out with someone like me?"

"No offense, but Eevee is more my type." Zorua returned, gently setting her aside and turning away.

"What did you just say?" Eevee asked suspiciously, having just pulled his head out from a dune.

"Oh, nothing much." Zorua said as Silcoon pouted behind his back. "Listen, meet me over on the small island in a little bit. There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Why can't we talk now?" Eevee asked, just before a large pile of boards crashed down upon him from above.

"Lookout below!" Vulpix shouted happily, landing on top of the pile with a crash. "Is that you under there, Eevee? Good! You can help me carry all this to construction site two on the other side of the island. Hurry up!"

...

The sun was setting by the time Eevee crawled across the bridge to the smaller island. Zorua watched from his perch on a strangely bent tree as Eevee collapsed panting along the edge.

"It's about time you showed up. Vulpix and I had this whole picnic set out, but you never showed up."

"…never… told me…" Eevee panted. "Was logging… on the other… side of… the island… all day…"

"I think there's a bottle of soda left. We can share it if you-"

Eevee snatched the bottle out of his hands faster than either of them though possible and chugged it. "I needed that." Eevee sighed when it was all gone, dropping the empty bottle into the surf and watching it float away. "At least it's finally over. I can finally get some sleep without her shouting in my ears."

"What's over?" Vulpix said happily, bouncing over and taking a seat on the tree between them. "We only collected the materials today. Tomorrow we start the real construction!"

"Wow, I didn't know you could scream that loud." Zorua said several minutes later, helping a gasping Eevee back onto the tree trunk.

"So, uh, Vulpix's home is out there somewhere, right?" Eevee said, trying to shift the conversation anywhere else.

"Well yeah, it's right over there." Vulpix said, pointing. "We row over from the houses ever day. It's only fifty yards away, can't you see it?"

"You know what I meant." Eevee said irritably.

"It could be." Zorua said, getting a faraway look in his eyes. "Along with who knows how many other places. I would love to go and see them!"

"Honestly, why are you guys so fixed on my home town…" Vulpix whined, but for once no one was paying attention to her.

"It's just, I've always wondered why we're here on this island. If there are any other worlds out there, why did we end up on this one?"

Eevee thought really hard about this. "Because this is the only place we can get to on our crappy rowboat?"

"And that is why we're building my fleet!" Vulpix finished triumphantly. "To sail forth where no pokemon has gone before! We will be remembered in history books for centuries! Crowds will flock to see the historical ship and pay twenty bucks a pop to take the tour! I can smell the money now!"

"You've been thinking about this all lot, haven't you two?" Eevee asked suspiciously.

"Come on, just sitting here won't change a thing." Vulpix said, clapping Eevee smartly across the back. "Aren't you guys glad I came to this little backwater, or you guys might've never thought about any of this… hey, where did Eevee go?"

"I think you shoved him off the island." Zorua said, peering over the sheer edge into the surf below.

"Blah… can't swim!" Eevee spat, fighting against the waves as they crushed him against the rocky outcropping again and again. Several waterlogged minutes later they were walking back to the boats to head home. Or rather Vulpix was walking ahead of Zorua, who was dragging Eevee's half-drowned ass.

"Say," Eevee said, managing to walk on his own again. "You never said what you wanted to talk to me about.

"Right!" Zorua said, surreptitiously glancing to see how far away Vulpix was. "I wanted to give you this. It's a miracle berry. You can't even find these anymore."

Eevee eyed the star-shaped berry in his hand and looked back up cautiously. "You didn't just find this off some random bush somewhere, did you? Because this one time at camp, there was this poison oak that…"

"No no no, this is one of the good bushes that you find in random places." Zorua assured him.

"Oh." Eevee gave it another glance. "So what does it do?"

"Well, in actuality it cures you of all status ailments. But between you and me, if two pokemon share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll become a part of each other's lives no matter what."

"Together forever…" Eevee mused, tapping the berry thoughtfully. Then he mentally ran through a list of all the people he knew. "_Why would I ever want that? I'd never get a break!_" he screamed, hurling the berry as far as he could into the ocean.

"Well, I was thinking we could…" Zorua started, but Eevee was already halfway across the beach. He sighed. "Oh well, tomorrow is another day."

...

Meanwhile, _thousands of miles away_…

It was a beautiful day in the castle. There wasn't a cloud in the flawlessly blue sky and the sun shone merrily down upon the castle's many tall towers. Bibarel guards patrolled the ramparts, but not very thoroughly. No one ever threatened the castle's peace before.

In one of the castle's drafty corridors, a trio on Nuzleaf servants carrying buckets looked up as a loud quacking noise bore down on them from around the corner. Farfetch'd, the royal magician, raced around the corner and bowled the lot of them over. He was on his feet and off again in a flash, the sounds of quacking and shattering furniture echoing along after him.

One of the Nuzleaf lifted a bucket off its head and glared down the hall after him. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know, but I think he dropped this." One of the others said, holding up a soggy piece of paper.

Farfetch'd crashed through a large set of doors and found himself in the gardens. "Finally, he has to be somewhere around here." He said, running in circles through the twisting paths until he found the captain of the guards lying asleep in the shade of the bushes.

"Wake up, Hitmontop, wake up! This is serious!"

No answer.

"OH, WE ARE NOT DOING THIS BIT AGAIN!" Farfetch'd used thundershock! Hitmontop was jolted awake!

"Urg, can't you just shake me or something next time…" Hitmontop said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"We don't have time for that. Listen I got this letter-"

"What letter?" Hitmontop asked.

"This one…" Farfetch'd realized his hand was empty, but ploughed on regardless. "It doesn't matter, but listen, you can't let anyone know about this."

"Oh, the Queen…" Hitmontop started.

"No you can't tell the Queen." Farfetch's snapped. "We don't have to tell her anything, remember? We report straight to the King and no one else. Now, about the King…"

"But, you girlfriend…"

"Not her either. I keep plenty of secrets from her, what's one more?"

"But…"

"Will you stop interrupting? What part of don't tell anyone don't you understand? Not even the girls, and you know how they pry into everything. Now listen, we…"

"Ahem." said a cold voice.

Farfetch'd gripped his leak tightly and locked his eyes forward, his whole body going ridged as he willed the universe to change into a less painful future for him. "They're right behind me, aren't they?"

"Yep." Hitmontop said sympathetically, and turned his eyes away from the ensuing carnage.


	3. The Island that Never Was

Eevee cautiously peeked over the edge of the rowboat and looked up and down the island. There was no one in sight and he could hear the faint sound of saws and hammers coming from far off. Deciding he was safe, he stepped onto the dock and made a dash for the safety of the trees.

"There you are!" Vulpix shouted, leaping out from under the dock and tackling him around the legs. "I've been lurking there for hours waiting for you to get here. I've already put the other slaves to work and I can't waste any more precious hours of daylight waiting for you to show up."

"LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU DEMENTED WORKAHOLIC!" Eevee shrieked, but Vulpix had already hogtied him with a length of rope. She hummed a merry tune as she dragged him kicking and screaming around to the back of the island, which was filled with more planks and loose debris than a shipwrecked lumber barge. Their various 'friends' were scattered about the area, feverishly working at it with any tools they had at hand.

Venonat looked up as Eevee was dragged past and held out a manacled hand. "Help me…"

"Who said you could take a break?" Vulpix shouted, producing a whip from somewhere and wailing on the bug with it. "We're already too far behind schedule for you to slow down. Deck 4 was supposed to have been finished an hour ago!"

"Quite into it today, isn't she?" Zorua asked, walking over and tipping his hard hat in her direction. "Is this you're new look, Eevee? I think I like it."

"Why aren't you in chains?" Eevee asked, trying to wiggle free of his bonds.

"I'm the sub-supervisor in charge of the plans." Zorua said, consulting a clipboard covered in papers. "Vulpix, Burmy has been mining all morning and still hasn't struck any coal. I still think sails would be easier to use at this point."

Vulpix looked shocked. "Sails? What kind of luxury liner used sails? Besides, I came up with a better idea. It involves giant paddlewheels and Eevee doing a lot of walking in a circle."

"_Now wait just a minute!_" Eevee screeched.

"Very good, I'll get the contractors started." Zorua said, making a tick on his clipboard. "The delivery guys just dropped off the four hundred square feet of plush carpeting, which you need to sigh for _here_. And there's a line of applicants for the catering positions that you need to interview still."

"Put them all to work installing carpets and call it a placement test." Vulpix said, rubbing her hands manically. "Anything else?"

Zorua ran down his list and shook his head. "Other than we still need a name, nothing pressing. My suggestion is_ Highwind_. It sounds just fabulous."

"I was thinking _The S. S. Vulpix_. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" Vulpix looked down and saw Eevee had slipped off into a light nap and kicked him. "_I said,_ don't you think?"

"What? Oh, yes, whatever you said…" Eevee muttered.

"Well, what would you call it?" Zorua asked.

Eevee looked out at the sea to get inspiration and jerked himself upright. "_Metal Gear_!" he shouted.

The two of them looked at him blankly. "That is a stupid name." Vulpix said. "First off, it's going to be made of wood, not metal. Secondly, I already tried working out how to turn it into a walking death tank, and the luxury cruise idea is worth a lot more money in the end."

"I thought those plans were a joke." Zorua said to himself.

"No! Look out there. It's a real Metal Gear!" Eevee screamed, gesturing with his head.

"Where?" they asked, straining they're eyes against the sun's glare. The sea was peaceful and flat, just like it always was.

Presently, Zorua said. "I think we should have a race to decide the name."

"Why?" Vulpix asked.

"Because it looks like Eevee already started." Zorua returned, peering down the beach.

"Ah. I wonder when he broke out from the ropes…"

"FREEDOM!" Eevee shouted, running for all he was worth.

He dashed over a broken bridge, climbed up a watchtower, rappelled down a rope onto the partially complete mast, leapt from treetop to treetop, high-fived a tree in the shape of a star which started to glow, turned back the way he came, teamed up with a small pink blob against an evil penguin with a hammer, and rode a rainbow all the way to Dream Land, where they crowned him King of Sleep! Or at least that's what he thought he did. What actually happened was a piece of the bridge collapsed five seconds after he started running and he landed on his head several times during the fall.

"Hurry up if you want to win, Eevee!" Zorua called cheerfully as he easily hopped over the break in the bridge, Vulpix hot on his heels.

"_I already got the copyright to the name S. S. Vulpix. You'll never beat me!"_

"Screw this for a wingull…" Eevee muttered around the brain damage, and took off in the other direction.

...

"You know what I don't understand the most?" Eevee muttered to himself half an hour later as he stomped along the muddy track and shoved dripping vines out from his face. "I tried swimming out to sea to escape, so how did I get lost inland? WHERE AM I?"

Suddenly, he put his foot down onto empty air and tumbled down a steep bank into a river. "Ok, ok, this is good. The water has to lead somewhere. I can just float on my back until I get out of this impenetrable jungle. You know, this could almost be relaxing."

On cue, the river took a sharp turn and threw him over the edge of the island's waterfall. Eevee performed a perfect belly flop into the shallow pool at the bottom and lay there for several minutes as the feeling returned to his body.

"I think I saw him over there!" Vulpix said from somewhere close by.

"Gotta hide, gotta hide!" Eevee sputtered, thrashing up the side of the pool. A cave not so subtly hidden by some ferns caught his eye and he dashing inside. After running head first into walls multiple times his eyes finally adjusted to the dark enough to see where he was. The cave was uneven with tree roots breaking though the walls, and every surface was covered with graffiti.

Out of curiosity, Eevee walked up to the closest one. "For a good ride, ask for Rapidash." he read. Looking around, he saw that most of them were along similar lines to this one save for a couple pictures along the opposite wall. We walked over and peered at them.

It turned out to be a picture of him and Vulpix, facing each other, which looked like it had been carved by a four year old. Looking around, he spotted a small rock on the floor and picked it up. After ten minutes of bashing it against the wall, he sat back to look over his handiwork.

"Is that Vulpix… picking its nose?" a voice asked.

"Yeah. Good, isn't it?" Eevee giggled. He paused and mentally played back the last ten seconds of his life, then turned around slowly. "Who's there? If I scream, my friends will be here in a second."

A hooded figure in a cloak was watching him from the shadows on the other side of the cave. "They'd be able to hear you over the massive racket from the construction work?"

"Don't underestimate my powers of crying for help like a baby."

"…Perfect…" the hooded said, then turned slightly away. "I don't really care about you, little Normal. I've only come to see the door to this world."

"What door?"

"That door. The only one in this cave. The one you are standing right next to, right now."

"Where?" Eevee asked, turning the wrong way.

The figure face-palmed. "Anyway… this door has been connected. Tied to the darkness, this world will soon be eclipsed, as soon as the door fully opens."

"You know, someone recently told me something similar." Eevee said suspiciously. "You don't have anything to do with my subconscious hallucinations, do you?"

"This is going to be far easier than it should." The figure said to itself. "You don't even know what's behind this door. You know so little."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

"Well, it's been nice insulting you, but I've got places to be, worlds to concur." The figure floated backwards and disappeared into the far wall, leaving Eevee alone in the cave.

"What a nice guy." Eevee said, turning around and finally spotting to door. "Hey, who'd build a door all the way in here? I wonder what's behind it. Maybe candy!"

"_Found you!_" Vulpix shouted in triumph, rounding the bend in the tunnel and charging at him.

"OH NO, LET ME THROUGH! ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN HERE!" Eevee screamed without the least bit of irony, scrambling frantically at the door. Vulpic used headbutt! Eevee doubled over in pain!

Neither of them noticed, as Vulpix dragged Eevee's gasping form out of the cave, that the door had been cracked open and a few tendrils of darkness were swirling out of the crack.

...

Later that night, Eevee was tossing and turning in his sleep. Suddenly, he sat bolt upright in his bed and stared out the window. Bolts of lightning were dancing out to sea around the island.

"A storm? The ship! It will be destroyed! Someone should do something!"

An hour later he was woken up again when a tree branch was blown through his bedroom window, showering him in bits of glass and leaves.

"Great. Now where am I going to get some sleep?" Eevee asked, rain blowing almost horizontally though the hole onto his head. He sat pouting in the sheets for a few more minutes before hopping out of bed and walking downstairs.

The first floor of his house was completely flooded. There was nothing out of the ordinary about this, as his mother was a Vaporeon, but it made the couch an uncomfortable place for a nap. He lay down on it anyway and was soon snoring like a sawmill, so loud that he didn't even hear when the storm blew the front door open. Within moments the couch was floating outside on a suddenly released river and drifted out into the sea.

Eventually the couch grounded on the island, tipping over and spilling its slumbering occupant onto the beach. "AHHH! How did I get out here?" Eevee sputtered, wrapping his arms around himself and looking around for some kind of shelter from the torrential downpour.

His eyes tracked upwards and froze. "WHAT IN THE GREAT MASTERBALLS IS THAT!" he screamed. A gigantic Shadow Ball was forming over the top of the island. Even as he watched it was getting bigger.

"It looks like an attack that will obliterate this tiny place you've got here." Poochyena observed.

"Oh, is that all?" Eevee said sarcastically. "And here I thought it was something… to… worry… about…"

"Get him lads!" the Poochyena yelled, leading a charge down the docks that piled onto Eevee before he could defend himself. Somehow he managed to squirm out from the heap of enemies with only minor mortal wounds and took off towards the safest place he could think off: the smaller island which was farther away from the shelter of the rock walls and covered in tall trees that were attracting most of the lightning. The Poochyena, not quite as stupid, didn't follow as he ran across the rickety bridge.

Zorua turned around as Eevee arrived. "Where's Vulpix? I thought she'd be with you?"

Eevee paused. "Vulpix is here too? This night just keeps getting worse and worse!"

"It doesn't matter." Zorua said, shaking his head. "The door has opened. We can finally leave this island. Just the two of us!"

"What about Vulpix?"

"Well… she can come too, I guess…"

"Oh no!" Eevee cringed at the thought. "I'm not going anywhere. This all reeks of a long adventure, filled with excitement and danger. I'm having no part of this!"

"This might be our only chance!" Zorua shouted, holding out his hand. "I don't intend to spend my whole life wasting away on this little island. I'm not afraid of the darkness!"

"That's easy for you to say. You ARE a dark type!" Eevee turned and tried to run back across the bridge, but suddenly the ground was covered in black energy that held him in place. Zorua was already sinking without any resistance. Eevee struggled against the dragging weight, but in the end it was no use. The darkness washed over him and the whole world went black.

...

But that wouldn't make an interesting story if it ended there, now would it?

...

"EEVEE LEARNED HIDDEN POWER!" A voice from nowhere said. "USE THE POWER WITHIN YOU TO BANISH THE SHADOWS!"

Light blossomed from the center of the darkness, ripping it away and leaving a stunned Eevee in the middle of a calm circle that even the rain wasn't falling in. Zorua and the darkness were completely gone. Eevee looked blearily around him before staring down at his palms.

"Holy crap…" he muttered, "I have superpowers!"

"Hey, the storm's died down a bit. Let's get him!" Poochyena shouted to his underlings. They charged across the bridge and soon had him completely surrounded.

Eevee grinned evilly. "Time for some payback!" Eevee used Hidden Power! All the Poochyena were crushed by the light! For some reason this caused them to burst into little green balls which were quickly caught up in the wind and blown away.

"Take that!" Eevee said triumphantly before a flying branch cracked him in the back of the head. When he could stand again he raced off over the bridge, trying to find any place he could get out from the storm.

The cave from earlier loomed up ahead and before he could think better of it he slipped inside. If he hadn't been keeping his eyes clenched shut against the rain he would have seen that someone had put a large door over the entrance. He rebounded off it and landed face down in the sand.

"Who put that there?" he asked no one in particular, getting back up and inspecting the door. Other than its existence, there seemed to be nothing special about it. But a closed door meant a dry cave, so he opened it and slipped inside. This time he could see his way through the tunnel because something up ahead was casting a glow.

He rounded the last corner and came face to face with Vulpix, who was standing in front of the door. "…Eevee?" she asked.

"I'm sorry!" Eevee stammered, edging backwards as fast as he could. "I didn't mean to barge in on you like this, I'm sure you are doing important things, I wouldn't want to bother you, _please don't make me do any more heavy lifting!"_

Suddenly, the door burst open and a dark blast of air flew through the cave. Vulpix was picked up by the wave and carried towards Eevee, who was caught against the far wall and pinned down by the gale. Right before they would have slammed into each other, Vulpix became transparent and vanished.

"_**SHE'S A GHOST AND WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER!**_" Eevee screamed, a little unbalanced by all that was happening. He ran out of the cave and nearly went over the edge of the planet. Right in front of him the world dropped away like it had been cut into a bottomless pit of nothing. The world seemed to only contain the shattered remains of the island and the humongous, swirling ball floating over it.

"I'm the only one left. Everyone I know is gone…" Eevee said thoughtfully, then started pumping his arm in the air and dancing around. "Yahoo! Eat it, everyone who isn't me!"

A giant, dark shape loomed up over his shoulder. "HELLO AGAIN, EEVEE."

"Oh, no…" Eevee said, turning around and going pale. "It can't be."

"BEEN A WHILE, HASN"T IT?" Mightyena said. "SO… WHAT DO YOU THINK IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?"

"I WILL NEVER TELL YOU ANYTHING!" Eevee shouted, letting loose with his Hidden Power. Without him realizing it, the attack took the form of a glowing sword which he held clamped between his teeth. He dove at the Mightyena and started hacking at his knees. Once again, this seemed to work really well for some reason and the Mightyena roared in pain.

Suddenly, and once again for no real reason, the giant shadow ball started sucking everything into it like a giant vacuum. Mightyena was the first to get dragged in, screaming all the way. "NO! I ONLY WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABout yoouuuu…"

"Serves you right, you creepy stalker!" Eevee taunted, clinging for dear life to a piece of what had been the ship's hull he'd been working on earlier. A piece of paper which had been tacked to the underside of the wood snapped loose and flew directly into Eevee's face. It read 'This timber is really weak. Need to replace this whole lot when I get a chance. –Vulpix'.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Eevee asked, just as the rotting wood snapped beneath his fingers. He was immediately sucked up into the swirling ball of death. "OHHSSHHIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiii…"


End file.
